This year’s range of limited edition takes on traditional festive foods includes Prosecco-flavoured crisps and the now-traditional Christmas dinner themed sandwiches.
It’s fair to say they don’t always sound too appetising.
Here are the most unappealing examples in British shops this year.
Tesco’s Finest Candy Cane Crisps
Where to buy them: Tesco
With a pinkish tinge, these crisps are “dusted with a sweet peppermint flavouring”. The profits from these sickly chips are donated equally between food waste charity Fareshare and The Trussell Trust’s network of food banks, so at least it’s all for a good cause.
But you’ll have to get past that ‘freshly brushed teeth’ flavour first. The similarly limited edition Pigs in Blankets crisps sound much more palatable.
ASDA Festive Triple Sandwich
Where to buy them: ASDA
These fillings (Prawn Cocktail, Turkey and Trimmings, and Cheddar and Chutney) aren’t so bad.
But thrown together by ASDA as an attempt at a three-course Christmas dinner in sandwich form? No thanks.
Ham Hock and Sprout Macaroni Cheese
Where to buy it: Pret a Manger
Sprouts are perhaps the most divisive element of any Christmas dinner, but even those who love them would be hard pushed to admit adding them to a macaroni cheese is a good idea.
That’s what Pret have done on their Christmas menu this year, and they’re not fooling us into eating our greens this way.
Tesco Chocolate Truffle Carrots/Sprouts
Where to buy them: Tesco
Once you discover that these are chocolates are merely designed to look like their vegetable namesakes, your initial repulsion may subside slightly.
But the disassociation between putting something that looks like a traditional Christmas dinner vegetable into your mouth and getting a sweet, chocolatey taste may still be uncomfortable.
M&S Winter Berries and Prosecco Crisps
Where to buy them: Marks and Spencer
Winter Berries and Prosecco sounds like a very nice combination, but not as a flavour of crisp.
What may be the most middle-class bag of crisps ever comes finished with a sprinkle of edible gold stars and a “touch of fizz”. The M&S Food Hall in microcosm right there.
Fruit Topped Layered Chicken and Stuffing Pork Pie
Where to buy them: Sainsbury’s
Christmas has a long association with fruit and meat combos that you never normally see at any other time of the year.
Sainsbury’s takes the chicken, stuffing and pork you’d usually link with a Christmas dinner, and combines it with “an indulgent mix of cranberries” and apricots in pork pie form. A risky move.
M&S Christmas Pudding Smoothie
Where to buy them: Marks & Spencer
Nothing says ‘Merry Christmas’ more than the convenience of a blended up Christmas Pudding in a bottle.
This startling concoction is in aid of Shelter, so your curiosity will at least be aiding a good cause.
Still, we’re not convinced that liquefied desserts make for a refreshing beverage, at any time of year.
Festive Feast Deluxe Subway
Where to buy them: Subway
Price: £3 for six-inch (prices may vary)
Although we’ve grown accustomed to Christmas dinners encased within bread in recent years, it is still a strange and alien concept.
Subway’s festive offering is worthy of a mention, as customers are as welcome to customise their sub as they are with any other filling; at some point an errant request to add mayonnaise and salad to the Festive Feast will be made, and at that precise moment a tiny part of Christmas will die.
ASDA Christmas Dinner Pizza
Where to buy it: ASDA
Price: £2.60 (10 inch) or £4 (14 inch)
If you’re strapped for time this Christmas and can’t afford the hours to prepare a ‘proper’ dinner, you could always just whack this latest offering from ASDA in the oven and enjoy a traditional roast in pizza form.
ASDA say it’s a “festive feast with none of the fuss”, and the pizza won’t be available until 7 December, when it’ll come topped with chicken, roast potatoes and Brussels sprouts, and drizzled with cranberry sauce.
Granted, we’re split on this one.
Alex Nelson originally wrote this piece for our sister site inews.co.uk