Green-fingered Orangeman takes light hearted view of lilies losing their heads

The man revealed how his 12 orange lilies had been “stripped of their dignity”, with the flowers having been chopped from their stems.

But taking a light-hearted view of the situation, the Orangeman penned an email to the Ulster Star detailing the incident, making tongue-in-cheek references to the current political situation.

“Some say it could have been rabbits, earwigs or beetles - crocodiles were not mentioned,” the man jested.

“Could it have been an orange dissident or someone with green fingers? The garden suppliers are at a loss to identify the culprit.

“Growing conditions were ideal as it wasn’t a hard border but a favoured soft border, and they weren’t stuck where the sun doesn’t shine!”

He added: “If the lilies could speak they would say ‘We haven’t gone away you know, and DV next Twelfth our day will come’!”